How do you know when your family is complete?

April 19, 2018

How do you know when your family is complete?

Following on from my blog about my breastfeeding struggles with Margot one of our customers asked me to share more personal stories/insights. Man, we could write a novel on our journey as mothers, as I’m sure you all could too. Whilst my baby days are not so fresh in my memory now (with Phoebe 5 and Margot nearly 3), an issue I am currently grappling with is whether or not to expand our family.

I always imagined I would have at least 3, maybe 4 children. I saw myself as an earth mother, I had always been drawn to babies and children and was a nanny throughout high-school and uni. I thought I would be a natural. But as it turns out, whilst I absolutely adore my children and get so much joy from them, I am not a natural mother.

We had a few rough years as a family after Phoebe was born with my husband being very sick and then having a difficult pregnancy and post partum journey with Margot.  Not to mention starting and growing this business all whilst living in a different country to our family. When you lay it all out, there is no wonder I found it so tough.

But life is good now. I absolutely love my girls, they are kind, funny and a delight to be with. I love spending time with them and I also love the freedom and space I get with having slightly older children. They are pretty self-sufficient now. They help me, they play well and can entertain themselves. I get more me-time and my husband and I get more together time.

But I still actually find it really hard. I have moments every day of pure frustration and I often feel like I can’t cope. I can’t imagine adding another to my family and coping, I really feel it will break me and the family.

So after a lifetime of imagining a house-hold full of children, I am wondering whether I am done. And if so, can I grieve for the baby that I never had? Or should I be grateful for what I have and move forward.

I would love to hear your stories and how you knew whether to expand your family, or appreciate what you have right in front of you.

Fran x